So the wonderful Mel Wiggins set a 5 days of visibility challenge a few weeks back in the Assembly Members Community, and I had all the great intentions of doing it, but then, dogs happened and I got distracted and forgot and didn’t do it.
Whaaaaat? The dogs are cute and do fun and silly things and then I procrastinate and decide that there are much more exciting (ok, you should really read that as ‘less scary’ things) to be doing.
So here I am. #assemblyvisibility day 1.
I feel most alive when…
When I read this, my first instinct was to try and think of something witty and pithy like, “I feel most alive when I’ve got stinking awful period pains, because I’m in pain so I know I’m definitely alive”. But then I remembered, I’m only witty and pithy in my head and it NEVER works out when I release it into the world. People may laugh, and may even call me funny, but the laughter is definitely at me not with me, and the funny is more on the side of strange, not so much ha-ha.
Of course I thought about some of the cliché things like being out running through a forest, or standing on top a mountain (or really just a big hill), watching a sunrise or sunset…sure, all of those things are life-affirming wonderful things, and definitely give me a great sense of life and living, but they’re not when I feel MOST ALIVE.
In the same vein, my mind wandered to more adventurous things like when horse-riding and you get a good canter on (those of you who know my horse-riding history, yes, have a good big belly laugh right now) or when you’re in a car that’s going a little too fast around a corner or something…but that’s actually more about feeling a deep connection to my own mortality and being grateful that I’m still alive after the experience. That’s not feeling alive. That’s feeling appreciation for the fact that I wasn’t killed or seriously injured. (Or occasionally a sense of achievement that I managed to keep my feet in the stirrups!)
Then, my wee mind wandered on to scary things that aren’t really scary, just pushing past boundaries and challenging me to do and be more, things that get me out of my psychological comfort zone and help me grow as a person.
I thought I knew exactly what I was going to say, and I had it almost completely written, then I realised, that’s not what makes me feel alive. That’s just something I find rewarding and think is important.
And THAT is when I got to analysing the statement “I feel alive”, or more specifically the word “alive”. Not that I’d ever over analyse something of course, but I did. I sat and stewed on that one little word for several days. I picked it, unpacked it, explored it, …did some out of the box blue-sky thinking and almost found a burning platform (that last bit is just for the corporate junkies among you!)
What does it mean to be alive? Not living; Alive! On the inside, that makes you feel that happy inner-glow joy of life; of purpose?
Who knew 5 simple words could spark such a train of thought and introspection and growth, and discovery!
Part 2 coming up eventually, seriously, it’s a 2-step post (maybe 3)!
So, what makes you feel alive?